Monday, March 8, 2010

You want me to do WHAT?!?!?

One thing you may not know about me is that I have translated my own version of the Bible. The JBPV: Jeannie Bryant Paraphrase Version. Jeff loves to tease me about that every time I try to recite a verse from memory, and botch it. Or, I don't always botch it, but I just know the gist of it. I am not sure why Scripture memory is so difficult for me, but it is definitely something I have to work at. So, now that you know that about me, this story will be no surprise to you.

A few weeks ago, I hit a point in my life where I really thought I had endured all I could stand. The weight of the world weighed so heavily on me, I didn't even want to get out of the bed in the mornings. I didn't want to face my children. I didn't want to get dressed. I didn't want to go anywhere. Pretty much, I was just tired. It was in this frame of mind that I pouted into the kitchen one night where Jeff was washing dishes (that sweet man of mine). I don't think my arms were crossed over my chest or my lip was poking out, but in my frame of mind, they could have been. :-) I said to him, "I know the Bible is true and all that, but there is something I just don't get. It says 'They will mount up on wings like eagles. They walk and not grow weary. They will run but not faint.' But I'll tell you one thing, I am just about to faint and I am flat out weary." In my mind, I was, "So explain THAT one, Mr. Bible memorizer." (I can never stump him on Bible questions...Don't know if that is a result of his maturity or my immaturity.) Without missing a beat, he said,"Sweetheart, I think you are forgetting the first part of that verse. The first part says,'They that wait upon the Lord.'" Well, I must say, that totally knocked the wind out of my little tantrum. Arms down and lip back in. "Oh," was all I could muster. I walked back to my room, totally humbled at this point, looked up the actual verse (what a concept, huh?), and meditated on what he had just said to me.

For weeks after that, that verse just kept popping up every time I turned around. I don't know if God does that to you...bops you in the head with things over and over until you get it. You may be a faster learner than me. I guess He knows that's what it takes to get through my thick skull. Lo and behold at Bible study a few weeks ago, Beth Moore talked on that verse. She started the lesson by asking, "Do you ever feel like God has called you to something, has you sitting on 'go', but there's only one thing left you are waiting on?" I almost laughed out loud. That is the story of my life right now! I think the friend next to me did too. She leaned over and said, "Jeannie ...that's YOU!" Towards the conclusion of her lesson, she began to talk about Isaiah 40:31: But those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they will mount up on wings like eagles; they shall run but not grow weary; they shall walk, but will not faint." She talked a lot about how we are to wait and then she said something that will change my life forever. She said (and this is NOT a direct quote), "We are to wait upon the LORD, not an EVENT, or a person, place, or thing." All this time, I have been waiting on test results, waiting on the house to sell, waiting, waiting, waiting..... This is why I have been so frustrated. I am waiting on the wrong thing.

I cannot tell you that I woke up the next morning and life was all better, but every day I am reminding myself that I am waiting on HIM. Can you think of anything or anyone better to wait on? Am I ready for this house to sell? YES! Am I ready to have answers about Emilie? YES! (story for another day) Am I ready to unpack my boxes and start living in a home again? YES!! But I now realize that, until it is God's time, it means nothing, and if I am waiting on Him, there will be peace and contentment in the process. So many times in life, it is the process that is the most important anyway. Where we would be if we were instantly gratified all the time? For me, I would be without character, without a true appreciation for all God has done for me and blessed me with, without a lick of patience, selfish beyond belief-believing that it is all about me, and the list goes on and on. After all, Noah had to wait 120 years for rain, the Israelites wandered around the desert for 40 years, and how many years did the human race have to wait for our Savior? There's no way around it. God is worth the wait.

There are many things in my life I want to see resolved right now...we all have those things. But in the meantime, I will continue to work at waiting on HIM, and I will keep trying to memorize the Bible the way it was written. :-)

Speaking of waiting, I have promised you pictures, and you have waited here goes:

Here is Clara mounting Dink at her very first hippotherapy.

Clara working hard.

She loves taking toys out of the saddlebags and putting them in the mailbox.

She is always happy on the horse (This horse is Rosie), but this day, she was also very cold. :-) You can tell by the smiles that everyone is having fun...and they have all been charmed by Clara. :-)

The colors you will see in the following pictures are slightly offensive, and for this, I ask your forgiveness. It was the cross I had to bear for the Upward ministry. :-)

My Upward Girls

Future Cheerleader

My Girls

Go Upward!!

Have a blessed day! Much love to you all!

1 comment:

  1. Almost 2 months ago God had me doing the same thing (I was meditating on Psalm 130:5). So much about life is waiting and it is so hard to do when we live in an instant gratification world. Time is a commodity we want to control (much like our finances) which only leave us frazzled and frustrated. To submit our time tables to Him though leads to a peace that surpasses all understanding.