Thursday, December 17, 2009

Refocusing (If that is a word.)

Hi Everyone!

There are no words for how very thankful I am to everyone for your sweet e-mails, calls, and hugs these last few days. We are so very thankful for the friends and family God has given us. Many of you have asked how we are doing, especially since my little angry outburst, so here is an update. It really was amazing how much better I felt the next morning. My neighbor came over that night, and we sat on my front porch and talked and cried until about 2:30 a.m. After that, I got a good night's sleep...the first in days. The next day I was weepy, and now I am just sort of all over the place. I am a little worried about Jeff, though. He really has not had much chance at all to express many feelings, which is sort of a "guy" thing anyway, I guess. Our schedules have just been so busy. Last night marked the end of a long concert, rehearsal, church schedule. On the way home, I just felt like the life had been drained out of me. I think I am doing much better, and then someone says something, or asks me how Clara is doing (which is so very sweet...don't get me wrong), and the waterworks start all over. But once we got home and the kids were in bed, Jeff and I laid across our bed and for the first time, really, were able to express some deep-down feelings about this whole thing. We fell asleep holding hands with tears running down both of our cheeks...Jeff was still fully dressed down to the shoes. Somewhere along the way he must have woken up and gotten ready for bed, because when Megan woke me up at 2:00 this morning, which is very strange for her, he was in his PJs and fast asleep. So, while we are all over the place emotionally, still, we are not pulling away from each other, but instead, drawing close to each other and God. I don't know where people go for comfort if they don't have a relationship with the Lord. So there's an update on us, but enough of sadness. Some really fun things have happened in the last few days!

On Monday night, we had our last Upward practice of 2009. Once again, I am coaching cheerleading and I love it! I am a little behind getting on board, but I plan to use the next few weeks to get organized and get my ducks in a row. Tuesday night was spectacular! Alyssa and Emilie had their Georgia Children's Chorus concert. I always love these concerts. There is nothing more beautiful to me than children's voices, and that is one incredible choir. I feel so blessed that my girls have the opportunity to be a part of it. Alyssa loves to sing, but you sometimes would not know it to look at her (the spotlight is not her thing). This was Emilie's first concert, and she looked like a little angel! I had a hard time taking my eyes off of her sweet little face! She had fun and took it all in, looking around the whole auditorium during applause. She didn't look one bit nervous! That's my girl! Last night was our children's Christmas music presentation at church. It was enjoyable, as always. The kids did really well, and it was a sweet time to focus on Christmas and remember the real reason we celebrate. So now, we are through with all of our scheduled stuff. I am hoping to finally do some fun "Christmasy" things with the girls. Many of you know how I ruined our gingerbread houses the other we may have to make some different memories this year, but I am determined to have some fun with these precious girls. We have planned for tonight to be a fun family night. I still don't know what we are doing, but we will be together and relaxed. Those are the only two requirements! We considered Night of Lights, but that is $40 this year....can you believe that??? So we may ride around and just look at local lights, or we may just stay home and watch a Christmas movie and eat popcorn or play games...who knows. I'll keep you posted. :-)

Please continue to pray for Clara. She has had some very painful days the last few days. I am very anxious about getting her going on her supplements. Just pray we can get that all worked out. One interesting tidbit....many posts ago i told you there are only two places in the country that do live muscle biopsies, but I wasn't sure where the other one was. Well, I found out it is the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. That is only about a 4 hour drive from where we will be in Michigan, which is still far, but it's not California or somewhere like that. We do not want to move until it is God's timing, and right now there is comfort in being near her doctors, but it is nice to know the "other" mito specialists will be so close. There are so many blessings in all of this....that's a post for next time.

Love you all!

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